The Cabin In The Woods (2012)

Hollywood, you suck unicorn knob!

Or so says Vagspelunkin on the YouTube comments feed for the trailer to The Cabin In The Woods.

It’s fairly representative of the vitriol thrown at the film, which has as many detractors as fans, and, rather boringly, I’m sorry to say that I was actually sat roughly in the middle, with barely more than a casual shrug to describe my feeling towards the film.

As soon as I was done watching what I figure was quite a smart genre-merging concept, I came straight home to watch the trailer to see what there was I could say about “the twist” that wouldn’t be a major spoiler.

Turns out, not much. Not the easiest situation to be in when trying to review a film.

“The twist” is highlighted as being “the key” to the film’s USP during the trailer, where we see the usual horror flick, but with an intriguing glimpse at someone behind the scenes pushing the buttons. So far, so Wizard of Oz.

Written by the always brilliant, pop-culture obsessed and fanboy favourite Joss Whedon, there are so many moments that will be so familiar to an audience of Buffy or Angel, that it’s clearly his movie. It even includes a couple of minor roles to Whedon alumni Amy Acker (Angel’s Fred) and Tom Lenk (Buffy’s Andrew).

In fact, at times, it feels difficult to distinguish it from some of Buffy’s scarier episodes, or Angel’s later episodes in which (what was quite a major story misstep that ruined the final season for me) he aligns with the devil’s law firm, but all with a healthy CG budget that means that they didn’t have to rely on ropey guys in masks for every single demon.

There were some real hoots of enjoyment from the cinema crowd while I was watching it, so I guess this has nailed it for a particular audience, but on the whole I think I might have mustered not more than a handful of wry smiles, with one or two out-loud laughs at a couple of brilliantly written one-liners.

But they did manage to get and keep the scare going; even during the scenes where they were subverting the horror genre did the tension remain – which, if I had liked the movie more, would have been terrifically laudable.

And so, continuing to censor myself, on the whole to avoid any movie-ruining spoilers, one final thing I just can’t go on without saying is:

Oh my god, ________ _______ only goes and gets _______ another smug, superior and frankly generic ______.

If you’ve seen this movie, and read my other reviews of Abduction and Rampart you’ll know what I’m trying to say.

WHAT I’VE LEARNT

• It’s almost as impossible for me to hate Bradley Whitford as it is for him to NOT play Josh from The West Wing in every role he gets.
• I learnt what Datamoshing was today. Unrelated to the film, alas, but in honour of Joss Whedon’s perpetual pop-culture references, I feel it is my duty to introduce you to the latest zeigiesty trend that I happened upon. Be warned, if you’re not under 22 you’re likely to not ‘get’ why anyone would want to do that, but surely that’s the way with kids these days. I remember when I was a kid…

WHEN TO WATCH

• If you want something that’s dumb enough to make you jump, but smart enough to create real intrigue as the cast of boys with hard abs and girls with pert breasts are summarily dispatched.

WHEN NOT TO WATCH

• Once you’ve accidentally read the plot summary from beginning to end in one particularly anger and CAPITALS filled comment post on YouTube.

POSTER QUOTE
“Kinda smart, kinda funny and kinda scary.”